Today was the last day of school.
Today, I told myself, today I will not shed a single tear.
It's all my teacher's fault. If only she hadn't wanted to give me a hug. If only she hadn't written the singularly most moving sentence I've ever seen in a long while to me. If only she hadn't had those tears in her eyes as well.
After school, I walked out alone and stood in the cold autumn air, alone. Students milled about me. Most were talking about lunch plans. Some were taking pictures with their friends. And all I could think of was ...
... I'm leaving.
I'm leaving something I love so much. The hurt and sorrow was overwhelming ... I just started crying there, in front of everyone.
Maybe I was being too dramatic but it's so hard for me to leave this behind. Actually, I'd already known this would happen. It happened in Myanmar 3 years ago and I knew, I just knew it would happen in Korea this time. That I would enjoy what I do so much that leaving would be such sheer pain. And yet I still submitted that application. I still made that conscious choice to have my heart broken this way. And now that my heart is in smithereens, I ask myself, why oh why do you do this to yourself?
I'm greedy. I want this to last a bit longer.
:(
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