Today I had such a good time with my teacher and my classmates. :) We went to Samcheongdong, and I realised that a year ago, I was there too on my last day in Seoul! I've come full circle, baby. Anyway, we had a lot of fun and it was so hard trying to hold back my tears when my teacher hugged me again. Really ... I owe my success to her. And because of her I now see the importance of being positive in front of students every day. It does make a huge difference to the student's learning.
I'd wanted badly to catch the sunset at Gwanghwamun again (as per last year) so I stood outside the gate for a long time. As I waited, I looked at the city lights and then I started tearing again. =.= I'm a sentimental fool. Seoul's not perfect, but it's a place I've come to appreciate for all its quirks, just like Yangon.
Had dinner with SY, my friend from HK. I first got to know her at orientation, when she approached me for help and we just ended up going grocery shopping and lunch together on the very same day! Since then we've become firm friends and study buddies ... I'm going to miss her so much.
I'm really thankful for the friends that I've made in this trip. I hadn't expected it, but my Aussie classmate's one of my closest friends in Yonsei. And also for the bonds strengthened - my friend of 3 years SC has finally started to speak banmal (informal Korean) to me, which shows a degree of intimacy, and I got to know my host dad's daughter well too; she's showered me with nothing but gifts since we started meeting for English conversation sessions. Cosmetics (like, WHY?!), coffee, dinner, BREAD ... she thinks of everything. I feel like I have a real elder sister ... T_T
In all, even though I'm loathe to leave everything behind - especially my studies - I think I'll have to do it anyway, like it or not. I must admit that I have, on MANY occasions, questioned God about this: why let me taste heaven, only to take it away from me? But I guess of all the possible answers I can get, one of them is probably so that I KNOW there is a heaven ... and what I experience and evaluate as 'heaven' is a mere tip of the unfathomable iceberg that is heaven, and that this life, no matter how enjoyable, is ultimately something that will pass away.
I'm determined not to lose whatever Korean I've learnt though! So I'm still going to write my diary every day (IN KOREAN), and do self-study! I must do it!!!! It'd be such a colossal waste to forget all that I've learnt! I actually bought extra books by accident, so I'm going to make the best of my post-surgery recovery period to study on my own!
As for work, nothing's on the cards yet and I'm all mentally prepared for it so ... I'll think about that later. :)
It's been a really wonderful break. I'm thankful. :)
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
in media res
Today was the last day of school.
Today, I told myself, today I will not shed a single tear.
It's all my teacher's fault. If only she hadn't wanted to give me a hug. If only she hadn't written the singularly most moving sentence I've ever seen in a long while to me. If only she hadn't had those tears in her eyes as well.
After school, I walked out alone and stood in the cold autumn air, alone. Students milled about me. Most were talking about lunch plans. Some were taking pictures with their friends. And all I could think of was ...
... I'm leaving.
I'm leaving something I love so much. The hurt and sorrow was overwhelming ... I just started crying there, in front of everyone.
Maybe I was being too dramatic but it's so hard for me to leave this behind. Actually, I'd already known this would happen. It happened in Myanmar 3 years ago and I knew, I just knew it would happen in Korea this time. That I would enjoy what I do so much that leaving would be such sheer pain. And yet I still submitted that application. I still made that conscious choice to have my heart broken this way. And now that my heart is in smithereens, I ask myself, why oh why do you do this to yourself?
I'm greedy. I want this to last a bit longer.
:(
Today, I told myself, today I will not shed a single tear.
It's all my teacher's fault. If only she hadn't wanted to give me a hug. If only she hadn't written the singularly most moving sentence I've ever seen in a long while to me. If only she hadn't had those tears in her eyes as well.
After school, I walked out alone and stood in the cold autumn air, alone. Students milled about me. Most were talking about lunch plans. Some were taking pictures with their friends. And all I could think of was ...
... I'm leaving.
I'm leaving something I love so much. The hurt and sorrow was overwhelming ... I just started crying there, in front of everyone.
Maybe I was being too dramatic but it's so hard for me to leave this behind. Actually, I'd already known this would happen. It happened in Myanmar 3 years ago and I knew, I just knew it would happen in Korea this time. That I would enjoy what I do so much that leaving would be such sheer pain. And yet I still submitted that application. I still made that conscious choice to have my heart broken this way. And now that my heart is in smithereens, I ask myself, why oh why do you do this to yourself?
I'm greedy. I want this to last a bit longer.
:(
Friday, August 30, 2013
the final(s)...
I got my results for the final exams today. No paper slip, just a few minutes for feedback and for us to look at our papers.
I did really well though. Way, way, way above my expectations.
Reading: 97.2
Writing: 96
Listening: 94
Speaking: 92.5
My teacher was like, "Linda, you spoke well but you did better for the mid-terms." :)
And so 10 weeks of my student life came to an end ...
just
like
that.
***
I've been feeling extremely lost since yesterday. No daily homework, no diary-writing ... I almost went mad with the lack of activity. Then the very one thought that I've been trying to avoid - my departure. It's so maddening sad. I feel such great sorrow at having to leave Korean behind, and yet I must.
I know I'll never get an opportunity like this anymore. The regret weighs so heavily on my poor battered heart ahaha.
Anyway, autumn is here in Korea, and the weather is beautiful. Just a week ago it was unbearably hot and this week the mornings and the nights are actually chilly. I missed autumn the last time I came to Korea, and I'm going to miss it again this time. :(
I've come to really like and enjoy Korea for what it is. Seoul is definitely not a perfect city but she does have her charms, and I am charmed. I guess it just is the way with anywhere you go. Live in a place long enough and you'll develop feelings for it.
I daresay I won't face much culture shock once I go back to SG, unlike the last time when I'd spent a similar amount of time but in a vastly different city. At the moment, I don't have much work waiting for me, which I was, and am completely ready for when I left my previous job. I have enough to last me quite a few months so no worries, people. The extravagant lifestyle I used to lead will have to be restrained quite a bit, though haha.
So, it's time to go back home.
See you soon, Singapore.
And 정말 감사합니다, 사랑하는 한국. 다시 만날 수 있었으면 더 좋겠다...
I did really well though. Way, way, way above my expectations.
Reading: 97.2
Writing: 96
Listening: 94
Speaking: 92.5
My teacher was like, "Linda, you spoke well but you did better for the mid-terms." :)
And so 10 weeks of my student life came to an end ...
just
like
that.
***
I've been feeling extremely lost since yesterday. No daily homework, no diary-writing ... I almost went mad with the lack of activity. Then the very one thought that I've been trying to avoid - my departure. It's so maddening sad. I feel such great sorrow at having to leave Korean behind, and yet I must.
I know I'll never get an opportunity like this anymore. The regret weighs so heavily on my poor battered heart ahaha.
Anyway, autumn is here in Korea, and the weather is beautiful. Just a week ago it was unbearably hot and this week the mornings and the nights are actually chilly. I missed autumn the last time I came to Korea, and I'm going to miss it again this time. :(
I've come to really like and enjoy Korea for what it is. Seoul is definitely not a perfect city but she does have her charms, and I am charmed. I guess it just is the way with anywhere you go. Live in a place long enough and you'll develop feelings for it.
I daresay I won't face much culture shock once I go back to SG, unlike the last time when I'd spent a similar amount of time but in a vastly different city. At the moment, I don't have much work waiting for me, which I was, and am completely ready for when I left my previous job. I have enough to last me quite a few months so no worries, people. The extravagant lifestyle I used to lead will have to be restrained quite a bit, though haha.
So, it's time to go back home.
See you soon, Singapore.
And 정말 감사합니다, 사랑하는 한국. 다시 만날 수 있었으면 더 좋겠다...
Sunday, August 18, 2013
how to clear a clogged toilet
I learn new things here every day.
3 days ago, on Korea's Liberation Day, of all things I could do I clogged the toilet with too much toilet paper. Over here you ain't supposed to flush toilet paper down the system and I always abide by the rules ... when I am outdoors. When I'm in the comfort of my own home I, well, make myself at home.
So, yes, I clogged the toilet. The slow-draining type, whereby water (+ poop + toilet paper) goes all the way up to the dangerous limit of the rim, and then take forever to drain. And if you attempt to flush again, be prepared for your room to be flooded.
And it happened that when this happened, I was just getting ready to leave my home for school. So I left with a really heavy heart. What if the choke backs up and the toilet floods my room while I'm away? Should I call the landlord on a public holiday? Am I ready for him to deal with my unsanitary toilet mess?????
With all these in mind I went on the almight Internet to search for solutions. Most require a plunger, which I was ready to buy BUT didn't want to coz I try not to make unnecessary purchases, especially when I only have 3 weeks left here. Then I saw a solution which only require 2 things:
1. dishwasher soap
2. hot water. LOTS.
I was skeptical. Come on, unclog a toilet with just these? Even Ernie was skeptical. But I had nothing to lose, so once I got home I immediately poured about 1/4 cup of dishwasher soap into my toilet.
Now imagine dishwasher-liquid-tinted water + poop + toilet paper + tea leaves (oh I forgot to mention, these came out as well). Not exactly a pretty sight if you ask me.
I let this concoction sit for about 5 min, while contemplating how I should phrase my request to my landlord. "Mr. Kim, I'm so sorry to bother you on a public holiday, but my toilet's clogged ..."
THERE IS NO WAY TO SAY THIS WITHOUT LOSING MY KOREAN STREET CRED.
Should I risk my reputation? I even considered (seriously) going to the nearby restaurant to do my business if I were to wait till the following day. But what about the wee hours of the morning? What if I really need to use the toilet then?
Anyway, 5 min was up and I filled my pot with hot water from the tap. 3 pots and the vile concoction came up to the rim of the toilet bowl.
I stared at it in despair. 1 second, 2 seconds ... nothing happened. Everything was swimming around in blue-tinted water, like being in a swimming pool. Mr. Poop and his friends the Tea Leaves family having a wonderful hot spring vacation on Korea's Liberation Day while the boys from the Toilet Paper school practised synchronised swimming.
Lousy internet solution.
I walked away to put my pot on the shelf, and thought, oh well, I'll just let it drain slowly and then face the music (not to mention total, utter humiliation) of having to call my landlord to come and witness this ghastly sight. AND DO THE DIRTY (literally) DEED.
The humiliation was killing me!!!!!
THEN.
MAGIK HAPPENED.
As in the movies, a soft gurgle reverberated in my tiny toilet. As in the movies, I (almost) dropped my pot, turned my head in slo-mo, and to my amazement ...
THE SWIMMING POOL WAS GONE AND SO WERE THE REVELLERS.
The toilet sucked them all up mercilessly, and vomitted clean, clear fresh water again.
I couldn't believe it! So I flushed again, gingerly, totally expecting to have it stuck again but NO. Everything was back to normal. There was even a nice dishwasher smell in my toilet!
Ladies and gentlemen ... forget the plunger. Dishwasher soap and hot water, they are your best friends.
TL;DR: Toilet stuck. Used dishwasher soap and hot water. Problem solved.
3 days ago, on Korea's Liberation Day, of all things I could do I clogged the toilet with too much toilet paper. Over here you ain't supposed to flush toilet paper down the system and I always abide by the rules ... when I am outdoors. When I'm in the comfort of my own home I, well, make myself at home.
So, yes, I clogged the toilet. The slow-draining type, whereby water (+ poop + toilet paper) goes all the way up to the dangerous limit of the rim, and then take forever to drain. And if you attempt to flush again, be prepared for your room to be flooded.
And it happened that when this happened, I was just getting ready to leave my home for school. So I left with a really heavy heart. What if the choke backs up and the toilet floods my room while I'm away? Should I call the landlord on a public holiday? Am I ready for him to deal with my unsanitary toilet mess?????
With all these in mind I went on the almight Internet to search for solutions. Most require a plunger, which I was ready to buy BUT didn't want to coz I try not to make unnecessary purchases, especially when I only have 3 weeks left here. Then I saw a solution which only require 2 things:
1. dishwasher soap
2. hot water. LOTS.
I was skeptical. Come on, unclog a toilet with just these? Even Ernie was skeptical. But I had nothing to lose, so once I got home I immediately poured about 1/4 cup of dishwasher soap into my toilet.
Now imagine dishwasher-liquid-tinted water + poop + toilet paper + tea leaves (oh I forgot to mention, these came out as well). Not exactly a pretty sight if you ask me.
I let this concoction sit for about 5 min, while contemplating how I should phrase my request to my landlord. "Mr. Kim, I'm so sorry to bother you on a public holiday, but my toilet's clogged ..."
THERE IS NO WAY TO SAY THIS WITHOUT LOSING MY KOREAN STREET CRED.
Should I risk my reputation? I even considered (seriously) going to the nearby restaurant to do my business if I were to wait till the following day. But what about the wee hours of the morning? What if I really need to use the toilet then?
Anyway, 5 min was up and I filled my pot with hot water from the tap. 3 pots and the vile concoction came up to the rim of the toilet bowl.
I stared at it in despair. 1 second, 2 seconds ... nothing happened. Everything was swimming around in blue-tinted water, like being in a swimming pool. Mr. Poop and his friends the Tea Leaves family having a wonderful hot spring vacation on Korea's Liberation Day while the boys from the Toilet Paper school practised synchronised swimming.
Lousy internet solution.
I walked away to put my pot on the shelf, and thought, oh well, I'll just let it drain slowly and then face the music (not to mention total, utter humiliation) of having to call my landlord to come and witness this ghastly sight. AND DO THE DIRTY (literally) DEED.
The humiliation was killing me!!!!!
THEN.
MAGIK HAPPENED.
As in the movies, a soft gurgle reverberated in my tiny toilet. As in the movies, I (almost) dropped my pot, turned my head in slo-mo, and to my amazement ...
THE SWIMMING POOL WAS GONE AND SO WERE THE REVELLERS.
The toilet sucked them all up mercilessly, and vomitted clean, clear fresh water again.
I couldn't believe it! So I flushed again, gingerly, totally expecting to have it stuck again but NO. Everything was back to normal. There was even a nice dishwasher smell in my toilet!
Ladies and gentlemen ... forget the plunger. Dishwasher soap and hot water, they are your best friends.
TL;DR: Toilet stuck. Used dishwasher soap and hot water. Problem solved.
the beginning of the end
In a twinkling of an eye (cliche but so true now), I've already spent 2 months here in Seoul and that means my departure is also imminent. Finals are in a week's time ... I'm less concerned about that and more about whether I should return to Seoul.
I'm struggling so hard. Half my mind is filled with vicious, bitter and selfish thoughts. The other half tells me life is not a dream and I should just go back to Singapore. But I'm so unwilling it's painful. I'm so afraid that I'll end up regretting not doing this and feeling super bitter towards Singapore and everything there. I know for sure that once I go back to Singapore, I'll never ever have this luxury of just concentrating on studying.
Anyway, in my diary a few days ago, I wrote about my growing love towards the Korean language:
My teacher responded with this: "I'm thankful too. You're truly a splendid student." Her comment made my day. :)
And oh, I went for a haircut about a week ago. "Haircut" is stretching it a bit far since all I did was to have it trimmed. Haha. And I think I emphasized the "just a bit" part too much, because the hairstylist really snipped off 1 cm!!! Not exactly what I had in mind actually, hahaha. She couldn't speak much English so once again I was blissfully forced into speaking Korean. Being the kiasu Singaporean I am, I actually checked the dictionary for words like "to trim", "fringe" etc. :P
Same thing happened when my wisdom tooth popped out. I wanted to ask my teacher if I should head to the dental hospital directly, and so I searched for the Korean equivalents of "wisdom tooth/teeth" (plurals are not important in Korean grammar), "to extract (teeth)" and "dentist". So when I finally had the chance to ask my teacher, this was my question:
"선생님, 저는 제 사랑니가 나와서 아파요. 건강센터에 가야 되거나 바로 치과 병원에 뽑으러 가야돼요?"
(Teacher, I'm in pain because my wisdom tooth has erupted. Should I go to the students' health centre (heavily subsidised student health care system) or should I go straight to the dental hospital to have it extracted?"
It's wonderful being able to communicate one's desires. Sigh.
Anyway she suggested that I go to the students' health centre because 1. wisdom teeth extraction is not covered by any kind of insurance in Korea, 2. it's going to be way cheaper and 3. she has no idea what to do in a dental hospital. Haha. And oh, on that same day we had a level-wide singing competition. This was the song my class chose:
Naengmyeon is cold noodles which is eaten in ... winter. O.O Anyway, our class came in third, out of 21 classes! Quite an achievement, if you ask me. The crowd obviously enjoyed our performance coz they were all cheering very wildly for us. I feel like a KPop star! :P
That's another beautiful memory to keep. :)
Back to my dental adventures. So with my left jaw hurting like crazy and all swollen, I took to the stage and performed. Right after that I went to the students' health centre and had my tooth examined. The dentist was a kind lady in her 40s who could speak English but chose to speak Korean to me so once again I had the chance to reuse words like 사랑니* (wisdom tooth) and 뽑 (to extract). If I understood her rapid-fire Korean accurately, she said my tooth was still too deeply embedded and extraction would mean having to cut through the gum, which she doesn't think is a good thing to do for now. So she made a phone call to someone, explaining my situation (I understood about 60% of her conversation and thus knew she was talking about me), then sent me home with some meds and told me to go back to see her on Monday.
*the "사랑" in 사랑니 means "love". WHERE IS THE LOVE??!! Hurhurhur... Koreans, you guys have a wicked sense of black humour.
So I've been stuck at home since Friday afternoon just chilling, writing my diary, watching Japanese folktales (super up my alley). My tooth's ok if I take my medication, but once the effect wears off the pain comes back. My jaw's still swollen though, and I'm making this sound worse than it really is. I thought I would be reduced to a whimpering invalid who can only imbibe liquids, but it can't be further from the truth. I'm really living it up here ... :P
I guess there's nothing much for me to do now except to really cherish every moment spent here.
I'm struggling so hard. Half my mind is filled with vicious, bitter and selfish thoughts. The other half tells me life is not a dream and I should just go back to Singapore. But I'm so unwilling it's painful. I'm so afraid that I'll end up regretting not doing this and feeling super bitter towards Singapore and everything there. I know for sure that once I go back to Singapore, I'll never ever have this luxury of just concentrating on studying.
Anyway, in my diary a few days ago, I wrote about my growing love towards the Korean language:
My teacher responded with this: "I'm thankful too. You're truly a splendid student." Her comment made my day. :)
And oh, I went for a haircut about a week ago. "Haircut" is stretching it a bit far since all I did was to have it trimmed. Haha. And I think I emphasized the "just a bit" part too much, because the hairstylist really snipped off 1 cm!!! Not exactly what I had in mind actually, hahaha. She couldn't speak much English so once again I was blissfully forced into speaking Korean. Being the kiasu Singaporean I am, I actually checked the dictionary for words like "to trim", "fringe" etc. :P
Same thing happened when my wisdom tooth popped out. I wanted to ask my teacher if I should head to the dental hospital directly, and so I searched for the Korean equivalents of "wisdom tooth/teeth" (plurals are not important in Korean grammar), "to extract (teeth)" and "dentist". So when I finally had the chance to ask my teacher, this was my question:
"선생님, 저는 제 사랑니가 나와서 아파요. 건강센터에 가야 되거나 바로 치과 병원에 뽑으러 가야돼요?"
(Teacher, I'm in pain because my wisdom tooth has erupted. Should I go to the students' health centre (heavily subsidised student health care system) or should I go straight to the dental hospital to have it extracted?"
It's wonderful being able to communicate one's desires. Sigh.
Anyway she suggested that I go to the students' health centre because 1. wisdom teeth extraction is not covered by any kind of insurance in Korea, 2. it's going to be way cheaper and 3. she has no idea what to do in a dental hospital. Haha. And oh, on that same day we had a level-wide singing competition. This was the song my class chose:
Naengmyeon is cold noodles which is eaten in ... winter. O.O Anyway, our class came in third, out of 21 classes! Quite an achievement, if you ask me. The crowd obviously enjoyed our performance coz they were all cheering very wildly for us. I feel like a KPop star! :P
That's another beautiful memory to keep. :)
Back to my dental adventures. So with my left jaw hurting like crazy and all swollen, I took to the stage and performed. Right after that I went to the students' health centre and had my tooth examined. The dentist was a kind lady in her 40s who could speak English but chose to speak Korean to me so once again I had the chance to reuse words like 사랑니* (wisdom tooth) and 뽑 (to extract). If I understood her rapid-fire Korean accurately, she said my tooth was still too deeply embedded and extraction would mean having to cut through the gum, which she doesn't think is a good thing to do for now. So she made a phone call to someone, explaining my situation (I understood about 60% of her conversation and thus knew she was talking about me), then sent me home with some meds and told me to go back to see her on Monday.
*the "사랑" in 사랑니 means "love". WHERE IS THE LOVE??!! Hurhurhur... Koreans, you guys have a wicked sense of black humour.
So I've been stuck at home since Friday afternoon just chilling, writing my diary, watching Japanese folktales (super up my alley). My tooth's ok if I take my medication, but once the effect wears off the pain comes back. My jaw's still swollen though, and I'm making this sound worse than it really is. I thought I would be reduced to a whimpering invalid who can only imbibe liquids, but it can't be further from the truth. I'm really living it up here ... :P
I guess there's nothing much for me to do now except to really cherish every moment spent here.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
i'm sorry
... that I don't update this as often as I originally set out to. The main reason's my studies, but laziness plays a huge part too. :X
It's Week 8 now and I have about 3 weeks left in Seoul. It's scary how time flies - every day I wonder where the time has gone. The quick passage of time is made more apparent by how much I realise I've improved in the language, and while I'm glad I'm improving quickly, I'm really sad that this journey's coming to an end for me.
I remember very distinctly my first week in school. I was the only new kid on the block (or rather, in my class) and I had no idea what was going on. Whatever the teacher said, I would look at my classmates and mimic them because I understood nothing at all. It was pretty much the same feeling I got when I was learning Korean in Singapore - not knowing what was going on half the time and wishing time would pass faster so class would end for me. Not a very positive sign of learning, eh?
But in a matter of weeks I saw myself improving so much it was unbelievable. I think the daily diary writing helps A LOT and I strongly, strongly recommend this to anyone who, like me, learns via reading and writing best. Just by writing daily I was improving in ALL 4 skills. Then again, if I were to write with no one correcting my mistakes, I would just be making the same old errors again and again and worse, implanting them deep in my head. My teacher has done such a marvellous job patiently correcting my errors that I know I wouldn't have improved this much without her help. :)
I'm so reluctant to leave my studies behind. I know I started off planning this as more of a personal break but I'm enjoying myself SO MUCH I really don't want to stop what I've just started. It just seems such a great pity to me. Had I known I would be in this state of mind I think I wouldn't even have wanted to start, at all. :(
***
So I went for hapkido class last Sunday.
It was an intro class, so it's not like I'm seriously picking up hapkido. My classmate who does taekwondo invited me and another classmate, and I thought it would be a shame to pass up on this chance to try something new and yet so Korean. I knew it would be painful and difficult but I never realised how dfficult it really is. Add my poor psycho-motor skills into the equation (which already includes a terribly unfit person) and you get what I'm experiencing now: bruises all over my body and a pain in my thighs that makes walking so difficult my classmates ask what happened to me!
But I like hapkido. It makes a lot of sense to me and I like that the philosophy behind it is to cause just enough pain to deter, but never to injure. It's a very graceful sport, and IMO a very useful one too, in terms of fitness and self-defence. I can understand the logic behind every step but I just couldn't execute them well hahaha. I think, if I were to ever pick up a martial art for real, I really need to start from the absolute beginning and that is to condition my body well enough for even the most basic of steps!
As I observed the other participants executing the steps, I couldn't help but notice and envy how some people pick it up with seemingly zero effort at all. There was this guy who, to my utter amazement, did every step perfectly, and for the first time too, while clumsy me took forever and couldn't even get a simple arm lock done well. And an arm lock is really simple (to understand in theory, at least for me), but near impossible to do well in real life for me. Less than an hour later I started looking at the clock and wishing time would just pass faster so I could be released from my agony. Don't get me wrong - hapkido IS fun but for a clumsy person like me, well ... it was really, really, really difficult. :(
On my way home I thought about these 2 things that I'm learning: Korean and hapkido. One comes to me naturally and the other comes to me via lots of hard work, tears and sweat, I suppose. I feel so blessed that what comes to me naturally is also what I love with a deep passion. On the other hand, I really feel for those who just can't get language because like them, I can't get hapkido. And it's not even for lack of trying - if a person fails because he didn't try hard enough, then there's really nothing much to say about it but for a person who, despite his best efforts, can't do well (I know of at least 2 friends in school who are like this), my heart goes out to them. To tell them to "try harder" just doesn't cut it, because they already try so hard. What else can I do, then?
I think of this because in my line of work I also come across many students who are just not linguistically inclined. With students like that I'm careful not to say frivolous yet loaded words like, "It's so easy," or "Why can't you do this?" Well, at least to those who already have tried very hard but yield no results. Do you continue encouraging them to go along the same (futile) route, or do you encourage them to instead find their true passion?
As for those who do no work at all, I have something else to say to them. >:(
I'm rambling. Time to sleep. :) There's school tomorrow, joy!!!
It's Week 8 now and I have about 3 weeks left in Seoul. It's scary how time flies - every day I wonder where the time has gone. The quick passage of time is made more apparent by how much I realise I've improved in the language, and while I'm glad I'm improving quickly, I'm really sad that this journey's coming to an end for me.
I remember very distinctly my first week in school. I was the only new kid on the block (or rather, in my class) and I had no idea what was going on. Whatever the teacher said, I would look at my classmates and mimic them because I understood nothing at all. It was pretty much the same feeling I got when I was learning Korean in Singapore - not knowing what was going on half the time and wishing time would pass faster so class would end for me. Not a very positive sign of learning, eh?
But in a matter of weeks I saw myself improving so much it was unbelievable. I think the daily diary writing helps A LOT and I strongly, strongly recommend this to anyone who, like me, learns via reading and writing best. Just by writing daily I was improving in ALL 4 skills. Then again, if I were to write with no one correcting my mistakes, I would just be making the same old errors again and again and worse, implanting them deep in my head. My teacher has done such a marvellous job patiently correcting my errors that I know I wouldn't have improved this much without her help. :)
I'm so reluctant to leave my studies behind. I know I started off planning this as more of a personal break but I'm enjoying myself SO MUCH I really don't want to stop what I've just started. It just seems such a great pity to me. Had I known I would be in this state of mind I think I wouldn't even have wanted to start, at all. :(
***
So I went for hapkido class last Sunday.
It was an intro class, so it's not like I'm seriously picking up hapkido. My classmate who does taekwondo invited me and another classmate, and I thought it would be a shame to pass up on this chance to try something new and yet so Korean. I knew it would be painful and difficult but I never realised how dfficult it really is. Add my poor psycho-motor skills into the equation (which already includes a terribly unfit person) and you get what I'm experiencing now: bruises all over my body and a pain in my thighs that makes walking so difficult my classmates ask what happened to me!
But I like hapkido. It makes a lot of sense to me and I like that the philosophy behind it is to cause just enough pain to deter, but never to injure. It's a very graceful sport, and IMO a very useful one too, in terms of fitness and self-defence. I can understand the logic behind every step but I just couldn't execute them well hahaha. I think, if I were to ever pick up a martial art for real, I really need to start from the absolute beginning and that is to condition my body well enough for even the most basic of steps!
As I observed the other participants executing the steps, I couldn't help but notice and envy how some people pick it up with seemingly zero effort at all. There was this guy who, to my utter amazement, did every step perfectly, and for the first time too, while clumsy me took forever and couldn't even get a simple arm lock done well. And an arm lock is really simple (to understand in theory, at least for me), but near impossible to do well in real life for me. Less than an hour later I started looking at the clock and wishing time would just pass faster so I could be released from my agony. Don't get me wrong - hapkido IS fun but for a clumsy person like me, well ... it was really, really, really difficult. :(
On my way home I thought about these 2 things that I'm learning: Korean and hapkido. One comes to me naturally and the other comes to me via lots of hard work, tears and sweat, I suppose. I feel so blessed that what comes to me naturally is also what I love with a deep passion. On the other hand, I really feel for those who just can't get language because like them, I can't get hapkido. And it's not even for lack of trying - if a person fails because he didn't try hard enough, then there's really nothing much to say about it but for a person who, despite his best efforts, can't do well (I know of at least 2 friends in school who are like this), my heart goes out to them. To tell them to "try harder" just doesn't cut it, because they already try so hard. What else can I do, then?
I think of this because in my line of work I also come across many students who are just not linguistically inclined. With students like that I'm careful not to say frivolous yet loaded words like, "It's so easy," or "Why can't you do this?" Well, at least to those who already have tried very hard but yield no results. Do you continue encouraging them to go along the same (futile) route, or do you encourage them to instead find their true passion?
As for those who do no work at all, I have something else to say to them. >:(
I'm rambling. Time to sleep. :) There's school tomorrow, joy!!!
Friday, July 26, 2013
중간 시험 (Mid-term exams)
이번 중간 시험은 제가 정말 잘 봤습니다...!
(I did really well in the mid-term exams!)
I received my results today. I wasn't expecting to fail, but I wasn't expecting to do this well either:
Thank God, and I really have to thank my teacher too, who, I think, has been too kind and generous to me.
The exams were held over 2 days. On the first day I took the speaking and reading exams, and the rest on the second day. I honestly thought my speaking was a complete, utter, dismal failure. In class I could speak with a reasonable level of confidence, but during the exam I was a wreck. I dropped/mixed up all the Korean particles (e.g. subject/object/topic markers - bane of my life, prepositions etc) and at one point in time my teacher stopped to say this to me:
"Linda, particles are Level 1 grammar."
I sat there, stunned beyond words. Not a good thing to happen during a speaking exam!
After the speaking test, I sat by myself in the auditorium and reflected. Results aside, it dawned upon me just how woefully lacking I am in my proficiency. Again, I'm all okay in class, but throw me into the real world and I'm LOST. I know all my grammar stuff, I know all the vocab I need to know at my level, but I can't speak. It's a fact, and a fact that I can't hide from.
I felt really, really bad. I felt I had let my teacher down. I felt I had let myself down too.
The reading exam was ... easy. O.O Deceptively easy, because while I understood everything, I made minor mistakes in places that cost me marks.
After the exam I went home and immediately sat down to write in my diary. For the first time in a long while I didn't need to think too long about what to write; I had a topic, and it was about my reflections. So I wrote for about 2 hours. I wrote about how I realise my inadequacy in the language and how being good in class won't always translate to confidence in the real world. It took me a long time to check the dictionaries* but I finally penned down all my thoughts. I ended with this:
"I still enjoy learning Korean and I wish to continue enjoying my time here learning Korean."
* paper dictionary, phone app dictionary, Naver online dictionary, Google translate LOL
It was cathartic. I felt a lot better after doing it and I think being a perfectionist isn't good at times like this. It's no secret to anyone who sees the way I study ... I aim for perfection and excellence, because I believe it is worth every ounce of my effort to do this well. But maybe I was going overboard ahaha.
The next day, I did my writing exam which was again, deceptively easy. The writing exam is split into 2 parts: grammar and essay. The essay was worth 10 points out of 100 ... what?! LOL. Then came the reading aloud exam which I did pretty well in because I practised reading almost the entire night before (nerd alert) and the listening exam wasn't impossible but I knew there was a trap somewhere. Sneaky Korean!!!
After my exam I went for the school worship service and the bible study, both of which are conducted in Korean. The service was still manageable but the bible study ... my goodness, I was SO lost because I believe the language in the Bible is different from daily conversational Korean (which I already have problems with). And true enough, an extremely honorific (and dated) form of Korean is used, and it is not dissimilar to the Korean you hear in period dramas. Everyone was very nice and kind to me in the study group though. There was a teacher who tried to translate for me but she had to leave for class halfway, and then a Korean girl who speaks super good English took over the job. An American guy who speaks perfect Korean also tried to help me by telling me the references in English. But again, it was a reminder of how lacking I am. Anyway, after worship I had dinner with my friends from Hongkong and the Netherlands. We had Korean-style chicken, makkoli and ice cream. Haha.
And today we got our results.
My teacher was very nice when she analysed my speaking with me. As expected, she docked marks for my poor use of particles, but otherwise she thought I did well because I attempted (to a degree of success) a range of grammar and vocabulary taught in class. But I guess the most important reason why I did well was because I understood all her questions and even though I answered falteringly, I didn't need her to repeat her questions or translate them into English for me, because each time she had to do that she would take 50% off the score for that question!
So that was a really pleasant surprise! I didn't expect to do so well for speaking at all, (BTW she gave me an additional 1 mark after reviewing my speaking) but I know she was being really generous.
And that marks the end of the first half of the course. :)
(I did really well in the mid-term exams!)
I received my results today. I wasn't expecting to fail, but I wasn't expecting to do this well either:
Thank God, and I really have to thank my teacher too, who, I think, has been too kind and generous to me.
The exams were held over 2 days. On the first day I took the speaking and reading exams, and the rest on the second day. I honestly thought my speaking was a complete, utter, dismal failure. In class I could speak with a reasonable level of confidence, but during the exam I was a wreck. I dropped/mixed up all the Korean particles (e.g. subject/object/topic markers - bane of my life, prepositions etc) and at one point in time my teacher stopped to say this to me:
"Linda, particles are Level 1 grammar."
I sat there, stunned beyond words. Not a good thing to happen during a speaking exam!
After the speaking test, I sat by myself in the auditorium and reflected. Results aside, it dawned upon me just how woefully lacking I am in my proficiency. Again, I'm all okay in class, but throw me into the real world and I'm LOST. I know all my grammar stuff, I know all the vocab I need to know at my level, but I can't speak. It's a fact, and a fact that I can't hide from.
I felt really, really bad. I felt I had let my teacher down. I felt I had let myself down too.
The reading exam was ... easy. O.O Deceptively easy, because while I understood everything, I made minor mistakes in places that cost me marks.
After the exam I went home and immediately sat down to write in my diary. For the first time in a long while I didn't need to think too long about what to write; I had a topic, and it was about my reflections. So I wrote for about 2 hours. I wrote about how I realise my inadequacy in the language and how being good in class won't always translate to confidence in the real world. It took me a long time to check the dictionaries* but I finally penned down all my thoughts. I ended with this:
"I still enjoy learning Korean and I wish to continue enjoying my time here learning Korean."
* paper dictionary, phone app dictionary, Naver online dictionary, Google translate LOL
It was cathartic. I felt a lot better after doing it and I think being a perfectionist isn't good at times like this. It's no secret to anyone who sees the way I study ... I aim for perfection and excellence, because I believe it is worth every ounce of my effort to do this well. But maybe I was going overboard ahaha.
The next day, I did my writing exam which was again, deceptively easy. The writing exam is split into 2 parts: grammar and essay. The essay was worth 10 points out of 100 ... what?! LOL. Then came the reading aloud exam which I did pretty well in because I practised reading almost the entire night before (nerd alert) and the listening exam wasn't impossible but I knew there was a trap somewhere. Sneaky Korean!!!
After my exam I went for the school worship service and the bible study, both of which are conducted in Korean. The service was still manageable but the bible study ... my goodness, I was SO lost because I believe the language in the Bible is different from daily conversational Korean (which I already have problems with). And true enough, an extremely honorific (and dated) form of Korean is used, and it is not dissimilar to the Korean you hear in period dramas. Everyone was very nice and kind to me in the study group though. There was a teacher who tried to translate for me but she had to leave for class halfway, and then a Korean girl who speaks super good English took over the job. An American guy who speaks perfect Korean also tried to help me by telling me the references in English. But again, it was a reminder of how lacking I am. Anyway, after worship I had dinner with my friends from Hongkong and the Netherlands. We had Korean-style chicken, makkoli and ice cream. Haha.
And today we got our results.
My teacher was very nice when she analysed my speaking with me. As expected, she docked marks for my poor use of particles, but otherwise she thought I did well because I attempted (to a degree of success) a range of grammar and vocabulary taught in class. But I guess the most important reason why I did well was because I understood all her questions and even though I answered falteringly, I didn't need her to repeat her questions or translate them into English for me, because each time she had to do that she would take 50% off the score for that question!
So that was a really pleasant surprise! I didn't expect to do so well for speaking at all, (BTW she gave me an additional 1 mark after reviewing my speaking) but I know she was being really generous.
And that marks the end of the first half of the course. :)
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