i'm sorry

... that I don't update this as often as I originally set out to. The main reason's my studies, but laziness plays a huge part too. :X

It's Week 8 now and I have about 3 weeks left in Seoul. It's scary how time flies - every day I wonder where the time has gone. The quick passage of time is made more apparent by how much I realise I've improved in the language, and while I'm glad I'm improving quickly, I'm really sad that this journey's coming to an end for me.

I remember very distinctly my first week in school. I was the only new kid on the block (or rather, in my class) and I had no idea what was going on. Whatever the teacher said, I would look at my classmates and mimic them because I understood nothing at all. It was pretty much the same feeling I got when I was learning Korean in Singapore - not knowing what was going on half the time and wishing time would pass faster so class would end for me. Not a very positive sign of learning, eh?

But in a matter of weeks I saw myself improving so much it was unbelievable. I think the daily diary writing helps A LOT and I strongly, strongly recommend this to anyone who, like me, learns via reading and writing best. Just by writing daily I was improving in ALL 4 skills. Then again, if I were to write with no one correcting my mistakes, I would just be making the same old errors again and again and worse, implanting them deep in my head. My teacher has done such a marvellous job patiently correcting my errors that I know I wouldn't have improved this much without her help. :)

I'm so reluctant to leave my studies behind. I know I started off planning this as more of a personal break but I'm enjoying myself SO MUCH I really don't want to stop what I've just started. It just seems such a great pity to me. Had I known I would be in this state of mind I think I wouldn't even have wanted to start, at all. :(

***

So I went for hapkido class last Sunday.

It was an intro class, so it's not like I'm seriously picking up hapkido. My classmate who does taekwondo invited me and another classmate, and I thought it would be a shame to pass up on this chance to try something new and yet so Korean. I knew it would be painful and difficult but I never realised how dfficult it really is. Add my poor psycho-motor skills into the equation (which already includes a terribly unfit person) and you get what I'm experiencing now: bruises all over my body and a pain in my thighs that makes walking so difficult my classmates ask what happened to me!

But I like hapkido. It makes a lot of sense to me and I like that the philosophy behind it is to cause just enough pain to deter, but never to injure. It's a very graceful sport, and IMO a very useful one too, in terms of fitness and self-defence. I can understand the logic behind every step but I just couldn't execute them well hahaha. I think, if I were to ever pick up a martial art for real, I really need to start from the absolute beginning and that is to condition my body well enough for even the most basic of steps!

As I observed the other participants executing the steps, I couldn't help but notice and envy how some people pick it up with seemingly zero effort at all. There was this guy who, to my utter amazement, did every step perfectly, and for the first time too, while clumsy me took forever and couldn't even get a simple arm lock done well. And an arm lock is really simple (to understand in theory, at least for me), but near impossible to do well in real life for me. Less than an hour later I started looking at the clock and wishing time would just pass faster so I could be released from my agony. Don't get me wrong - hapkido IS fun but for a clumsy person like me, well ... it was really, really, really difficult. :(

On my way home I thought about these 2 things that I'm learning: Korean and hapkido. One comes to me naturally and the other comes to me via lots of hard work, tears and sweat, I suppose. I feel so blessed that what comes to me naturally is also what I love with a deep passion. On the other hand, I really feel for those who just can't get language because like them, I can't get hapkido. And it's not even for lack of trying - if a person fails because he didn't try hard enough, then there's really nothing much to say about it but for a person who, despite his best efforts, can't do well (I know of at least 2 friends in school who are like this), my heart goes out to them. To tell them to "try harder" just doesn't cut it, because they already try so hard. What else can I do, then?

I think of this because in my line of work I also come across many students who are just not linguistically inclined. With students like that I'm careful not to say frivolous yet loaded words like, "It's so easy," or "Why can't you do this?" Well, at least to those who already have tried very hard but yield no results. Do you continue encouraging them to go along the same (futile) route, or do you encourage them to instead find their true passion?

As for those who do no work at all, I have something else to say to them. >:(

I'm rambling. Time to sleep. :) There's school tomorrow, joy!!!